i·dle (adjective)

So…every mama likes playdates…right??  You know, the days that you get out of your own house, let your kids mess up another house, play with “new” toys, and essentially, you are “free” to relax and chat with a friend……or that’s how they are supposed to be, right?

I’ve taken my three little bears on MANY a playdate…and we’ve hosted many as well.  And they have been great fun–setting aside all the fighting between the kids and non-sharing moments.   

Lately, I’ve been studying the topic of Biblical Womanhood–which I’ll write about later–and, as you’d expect, I’ve been studying the Proverbs 31 woman.  One verse popped out at me recently.  It is one I’ve read and heard SO many times!  But this time, it hit me to my core as a mother.

Proverbs 31:27 says, “She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”  (NASB)  Idleness…hmmm…let’s look at the word “idle”.

Dictionary.com defines IDLE as:

1. not working or active; unemployed; doing nothing: (idle workers).

2. not spent or filled with activity: (idle hours).

3. not in use or operation; not kept busy: (idle machinery).

4. habitually doing nothing or avoiding work; lazy.

5. of no real worth, importance, or significance: (idle talk).

 

Does that hit you in the gut like it did me???  The Proverbs 31 woman is always “working or active”, she is always doing “something”, her day is filled with activity, she is “in operation”, she is not avoiding work, not lazy, and she is definitely of worth, importance, and significance!  Her actions (and I suppose her speech, as well) are productive…probably always working toward a goal.  It might be just working toward preparing dinner.  Or it might be just working toward a clean house–even if it only lasts a few seconds! 

 

So what does that have to do with playdates??  In thinking about not “eating the bread of idleness”…I realized that I am lazy during playdates, whether at my house or yours.  I am lazy during playdates when it comes to mothering.  I find myself sitting back trying to just chat away the time with my friend–all the while ignoring the task at hand…which is to be a mother to the children I brought with me.  I find myself sitting back as if to say “they’ve got this”…assuming they will know how to handle any situation that comes up during that playtime.  I mean, after all, it is a playdate–so play, already!  Stop fighting and just play!  I have chatting to do with my friend here!

 

Anywho…as I observed my own mindset at playdates, I also realized that I take the same backseat approach to playtime at home, between Brother Bear and Sister Bear…and even including Baby Bear now that he is big enough to play with them.  I found myself sitting back and watching them play…and watching them fight…allowing myself to sit idly by.  DOHT!!  There is that word again! 

 

I was allowing myself to be idle while they played!  Why do I think that is okay?  Why don’t I play WITH them?  Why don’t I stay involved in their play, so that when a situation comes up–such as Brother Bear taking Sister Bear’s toy–I can ACTIVELY help each of them handle that situation? 

 

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” 

 

Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”  (KJV) 

 

And–one more Scripture–1 Timothy 2:15 says, “She shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and love and holiness with sobriety.”

 

It is my job as a mother to teach them faith, love, holiness, and sobriety (self control).  And I realized that the more I leave them to play by themselves, the more they fight, the more they destroy, the more they bring shame to me!

 

Anywho…so what does this have to do with playdates? 

 

I noticed that I don’t do very much GUIDING of my children during playdates.  It’s kinda like a recess at school…the teachers stand around talking while the kids run “free”.  A child may do something and they get scolded or sent to the principal’s office…but the teachers aren’t right there beside every child for the purpose of teaching and guiding those social interactions.  I have found that the more I guide my children and teach them how to interact with each other, the fewer situations we have come up where a child makes a poor choice (such as Brother Bear hitting Sister Bear).  AND…they learn from that guidance so that the next time a situation comes up, they instinctively know how to respond! 

 

This Mama Bear has been convicted.  And I’ve repented (changed my ways).  And my home is all the more peaceful because of it.  So from this moment on, even at playdates, I’ll be parenting alongside my little bears.  And maybe, just maybe, other mama bears will feel free to parent around me too. 

 

We now return to our regularly scheduled playdate! 

Well, it has been TOO long since my last post, and I still have to work on my exercises for my Diastasis Recti.  BUT–I have managed to close an 8-finger separation into a 4-5 finger separation!  So that’s progress!  And I took some “before” pics…to be revealed when I have some “after” pics to compare to!

Anywho…  This post is my to-do list of topics I’ve had on my mind to post about, but haven’t gotten around to posting.  I really want this blog to be a resource for those of you who have also thought about these topics or asked these questions!  Some of them may turn out to be controversial (I hope not)…but they are important topics, in my opinion.

So here they are…in no particular order to be written:

1) The Titus 2 Mandate – Where are the OLDER women?  (Or at least where I *think* they are…)

2) Children and Authority figures – how many authorities are too many? (Specifically–how sending our kids to school and to youth groups may be affecting our parental authority in their lives)

3) Biblical Womanhood -  Varying points from this subject

4) The “Modern Day Church” – and how culture defines it

5) Feminism in the church – put on your steel-toe boots, ladies!

6) Playdates (and what I don’t like about them)

7) “Freedom in Christ” vs. giving Christ credit for worldly “rights” (ooohhh…this one ought to be goooood…)

WHEW!  I am already chomping at the bit on these…and also a little unsure of the response I may get on these topics once I’ve published my thoughts on them!  I’ve never been known to shy away from the “hard stuff”.  Really, I’m not the one to start a fight–but I sure do like to stand up for what is right!  (And please understand, I stand up for the Truth as written in God’s Word…in the Bible itself.)  I have always taken heat for what I believe and stand for.

I look forward to sharing these topics with you–and also welcome your input as far as questions or topics YOU would like to see written here!

Blessings!

I’m not easily embarrassed AT ALL.  But let me tell you that if you have a severe Diastasis Recti, it can get down right embarrassing.  Maybe I am the one embarrassed when the 128,501,349th person asks me, “When are you due?”  Maybe I choose to be the embarrassed one.  Or maybe, if I’ve heard that dreaded question for the 50th time THAT DAY, I’ll let the one asking be embarrassed.

My youngest, I’ll call him Baby Bear, is now 15 months old.  When he was a tiny baby, I’d just say “I just had a new baby”…but when I started saying just “oh he’s six (muffled word here)…” and they’d assume I had said WEEKS, when he was really 6 MONTHS old, I knew something had to change.  That’s when I started giving them a due date.  I’d always calculate before leaving my house what my due date would be if I were due 3 months from that day.  It was just inevitable that someone would ask the question.  It was just easier and quicker…and less painful…for ALL of us.  But…it was a lie.

So I started saying, “I’m not pregnant”.  When I said that, MOST people would cringe…because they did what they shoulda-woulda-coulda not said if they’d remembered what their mama said.  (I have always heard that if you don’t see crowning, DON’T ASK.)  In saying that, I was embarrassing THEM.  Which (almost) embarrassed me.  Which was just awkward for the both of us.  Then one day, while checking out at my local favorite grocery store, the young lady who was bagging my groceries asked me “when are you due?” and when I replied (in my sweet voice), “Oh, I’m not pregnant” with a smile and half-laugh, she responded with, “Are you SURE???” with that down-up-down again glance toward my belly.  GRRRRRR.  THAT, my friends, was the last straw.

I started searching for anything I could find on the subject.  And to spare you the search engine details…I finally found Lose Your Mummy Tummy by Julie Tupler.  OH.MY.THANKFULNESS.  This is it!  It is the ONLY workout program I could find on my search!  And then…I posted about my D.R. on Facebook, and a friend told me about a blog where the gal was chronicling her journey to correcting her D.R. too!  She even had before/after pics!  And her results were amazing!

AnyWHO…I am now going to start writing about my own journey!  I will post some before and after pics as soon as I can get some made (hubby has to be home to take them, since Brother Bear and Sister Bear don’t know how to get a good straight on shot). 

Tell me if you think you have a diastasis recti!  I want to hear from my readers!  And if you haven’t yet–go NOW to check out Amy’s story!  I sure hope to have similar results from Julie’s program!

And you’ll be happy to know that now, when someone asks me about my due date, I take a moment of their time to educate them on a condition that is not rare, but actually VERY common in both men and women!  I want them to stop asking me…but also to never ask another woman who may be in my shoes.  You’re welcome! 

I once heard of a retail establishment hanging a sign that read: “

1. Quality product.
2. Fast service.
3. Low price.

Pick TWO.”

My life right now has a few main priorities, which I have found given to me by the Lord in Titus 2:4-5, which speaks to older women about what they should teach younger women.  (And just to clear things up, I’m still one of the younger!)

AnyWHO…  This Word says I am to “love [my] husband, love [my] children, to be sensible, pure, a homemaker, kind, being subject to [my] own husband, so that the word of God will not be dishonored” (brackets mine).  Husband, children, character, homemaker…not a long list!  WHEW!  But, not the easiest of lists to check off for this list maker and checker!

Lately I have found myself succeeding in maybe TWO areas.  But that means I have also found myself failing in two areas at the same time!  On the days I wake up determined to get all the laundry done (and by “done” I mean at least in the dryer) and to keep my home crumb free…those are the days I feel I’ve done what I need to for my husband regarding his enjoyment of coming home to a clean home, but I’ve let my children run free without the attention they need from me!

Then, there are the days that I scrap the laundry and crumb removal for special moments with my children–those are some very special days, no doubt!!  Those days, I may not even shower–because my priority is to just love on, read to, play with and talk to my children!  And on those days, I forget to make my hubby’s favorite beverage so it’s ready for him when he gets home late one night and is thirsty!  Sure…some would say (and I’ve thought it) that he can make it himself or he can drink water.  Yeah, that’s true.  He is more than capable, and the water is already “fixed”.  But it is so much more a joy to my heart knowing that I’ve done something to help quench his thirst after he has been out working to provide…and working HARD, I might add…so that I am able to be the SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) and homeschooling mom that I feel are parts of my priority list from God!

So in my case, I’m only picking ONE!  I’m not even managing to do two of three things well.  I need to find some way of balancing my life so that it all gets taken care of.  Because God’s sign doesn’t say, “1. Love your husband. 2. Love your children.  3. Take care of your home.  Pick one.”  And I don’t just want to do them–I want to do them WELL!  This comes from my melancholy perfectionist tendencies, but also from the Lord!  He says to run the race so that we may win!  Not just to run!  Who likes to run, anyway?  If I’m running, I better win!

AnyWHO…I wish I could do like I did as a girl and teenager when my room got dirty to the point of not being able to walk in the room (too bad “Clean House” couldn’t come back then!).  I would literally empty every shelf, every drawer, and my entire closet onto my bed and start from scratch.  Sometimes I’d rearrange the furniture first–but what I did with all the “details” of my room was to take it all down or out and put it back in a new place for organization.  Sure…some of it ended up where it had been, because it was in the right place for full functionality and practicality, but most of it needed a new place!  Some of it had to be cleaned before being put back.  Some of it had to be given to someone else who could use it more or better than I had been.  And some of it was simply trash.  Discarded.  Dumped.  Removed.  Gone.  Forever.

I am on a journey right now to not only purge material things that I find unnecessary, but also to purge all the commitments that aren’t part of that priority list (yeah…that means saying “no” to a few things) and also to purge from my heart all the character traits that I don’t want to be!  This is going to require that I first open up my inner closet and empty it all into the middle of the room.  Then, and only then, can I see what’s in there–and if I’m brave enough (and I am) to let someone else see my pile and help me know what needs to go and what needs to stay!  And then…put it all back in an order that I can truly use what’s inside!

Next post…I’ll talk about what I’m doing in my ACTUAL home to get organized.  Purge is the word! 

Hey, you!  Yeah…YOU!  Welcome!

This blog has just been created, and I am so excited to be sharing with you some of my deepest thoughts, concerns, questions, and dreams.  Some of them may be controversial according to some.  My thoughts are just that…mine.  I will share what I feel led to share, and I’ll withhold what I feel is mine to withhold.  I hope that you enjoy reading what I do share…and as always with me, if you have a question, don’t hesitate to ask!  I do, however, reserve the right to NOT answer it if I’m not feeling it at that time. 

I am a melancholy-sanguine…which means that basically, I’m a deep thinker, I pay attention to details, and that I’m a little balanced (or is it UNbalanced?) by my fun, people-person sanguine side.  Sometimes I’m dark.  Sometimes I’m pure sunshine!  But all-in-all, I’m REAL.

I will write from a Christian perspective, because first and foremost–I am a child of God!  I have accepted His free gift of salvation!  And I look forward to an eternity in Heaven with Him!  Until then…I also write from a perspective as a wife, mother of three littles, homemaker, homeschooler, and friend.  I’m a dreamer and I don’t mind sharing those dreams!  I will quote scripture from the Holy Bible!  I will try not to offend, but I will speak truth!

I want to talk about things like homemaking, homeschooling, learning to cook with “real” foods, my journey to correcting a diastasis recti, marriage, family, and all those other topics that you may not read about in other blogs!

Sit back and enjoy as I write from my heart…sometimes I’ll be talking to myself…sometimes I’ll be talking to you.  The important thing is that we are both listening!  Thanks for joining me!

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