Why I’m changing my wardrobe…   20 comments

About a year ago, I had a conversation with some friends (all young women) about the topic of modesty.  We walked through so many different avenues that one might go when discussing this topic.  We talked about the history of our culture, we talked about our own upbringings (such as playing sports and such), and of course, we talked about Biblical references.  We even talked about (GULP)…the skirts vs. pants question.

Honestly, until that week, I had not been exposed to much on the subject.  I have one friend (I’ll call her Sally) who I know wears skirts all the time, and I remember asking her well over a year ago why she wears them, and she gave me the most gentle response–I’ll share it with you in a bit.  I was impacted not only by the fact that she does wear skirts–and LONG skirts, to be most accurate–but also by her meek explanation as to why that is what she chooses.  It planted a seed in me, no doubt, but I didn’t really think on it daily.

Fast forward to this gathering of ladies…  We were discussing chastity (sexual purity) and that led right into a discussion about modesty.  You see, the way we display ourselves (the way we dress) is an outward reflection of what is on the inside.  Just like the words that we speak are an outward expression of our hearts (Matthew 12:34)–so is our appearance.

We just experienced a scientific phenomenon that is an unusual occurrence:  the supermoon!  I didn’t get to see it on the horizon (because we are surrounded by too many trees here)…but saw it in the high night sky…and it was definitely more “super” than it typically is.  It seemed larger and brighter that night!  I even got my 5 year old out of bed to show him, even though when I first went to get him up, he said “I don’t want to go…” and fell back to sleep.  But when I mentioned the supermoon, he did get up and he was excited!

As he and I stood alone in our driveway at around midnight, I told him about how the moon shines by reflecting the light of the sun, which is on the other side of the world.  On that side of the earth, the sun was shining and it was day!  But on our side of the earth, it would be darkness, if not for the reflection of the sun’s light on the moon.  I explained that Jesus is the light of the world (John 8:12), and that each of us is like a moon reflecting on this dark world.  It is true–this world is dark.  There is so much evil and sin.  I know it breaks the heart of our Father in heaven, for it breaks mine and I’m human.  AnyWHO…I explained to him how we have to have Jesus’ light in us so that we can reflect it onto the earth.  In other words, and I paraphrase, we have to receive God’s Truth and then SHOW it to the world!

So my friend, Sally, when I asked her about her skirt-wearing, replied this way (via email):

“I do always wear a long skirt. It has been a “journey” of sorts to get to that place. 7 years ago, when I got married, I was anything but modest. My wedding gown was strapless. I wore tight jeans, short skirts, halter tops. I loved getting male attention, and I secretly loved it that other women were jealous of me. I just shake my head when I think back to how vain I was and how much I liked the fact that I caused other men to lust. Anyway, God’s grace is so good. Well, shortly after I got married, I started feeling like I needed to be more modest for the respect of my husband. He never asked me to, but it was something I felt I needed to do. I guess I would call it “convicted”. It started out that I gave away all my halter tops, spaghetti strap tanks, tight pants and short skirts. I still wore pants though – just looser pants than I had previously worn. Well, about 2 years after that, (so, about 4 years ago or so), I started noticing how other women were dressed, and I noticed that even when they were wearing loose pants, the outline of their bum was still very visible, and their crotch area looked so exposed as compared to a woman wearing a long skirt. Which is what led me to start wearing skirts most of the time. For a while, I still wore pants occasionally, but the longer I wore mostly skirts, the more “exposed” I felt when wearing pants. And now, I have not worn pants for over a year.”

Now, let me clear up the picture you have in your head about Sally.  She isn’t wearing what Carolyn wore in “Little House on the Prairie”.  She is wearing modern skirts, tops, and dresses.  They are just modest.  So I’m not talking about denim jumpers everyday…just so you know!  🙂

AnyWHO…let me get back to the discussion the ladies and I had on modesty…

First thing I want to ask–and this is for you to answer on your own (or share with me in the comments if you feel led to do so!).  WHY do you dress the way that you do?  No matter what that is…whether it is a dress, pants, shorts, a swimsuit at the beach or pool, or your pj’s…why do you dress that way?  Is it because you were taught to dress that way growing up?  Is it because it’s how your friends dress?  Is it because it is the “trend” culturally?  Is it because God has given you standards to dress by?  Or do you not know your why on these matters?

I think more important than dressing a certain way is knowing why you dress that way.  There are so many things we can do that are just not right because of ignorance, but we still may pay the penalty for it.  For example, if I go to another state besides Alabama and drive my car around on their streets, I am expected to abide by the rules of the road for that state.  If I’m pulled over, for, say…entering an intersection on a yellow light (which is NOT against the law here in AL)…well, I’m probably going to get a ticket for it.  You see, it was still the law, even if I didn’t know!  I believe the same goes for God’s law.  Sin is still sin, whether we know it to be sin or not.  God gives us this in His Holy written Word.  I was once ignorant–meaning, I didn’t know–what His Word says…on ANY matter.  But now that I know what He says on certain things, I cannot choose sin!  I must choose to obey His Word.  Just a fair warning, Hebrews 10:26 says, “If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.”  I don’t want the price He paid for MY sins to get tossed out!  Why pay my own price after He has paid it all for me???  So now, there is only room for obedience!  And it is His sacrifice that gives me the power to overcome my sinful nature.  I simply cannot–MUST NOT–allow myself to be taken into bondage again by sin.

I love reading the story of the woman caught in adultery.  No–adultery isn’t a “fun” topic to read or to think about.  But I just love how Jesus handled it–what he said to her.  She was caught IN THE ACT of adultery.  She was thrown at Jesus’ feet for judgment.  He went on to tell those around Him (again, I paraphrase) that whoever has no sin should be the first to cast the stone at her (which was, as I understand it, culturally, the punishment for this act).  Well, no one threw a stone.  So Jesus asked her, “Has no one condemned you?”  And she said, “No one, Lord.” and Jesus then said to her, “Neither do I condemn you.”  PRAISE THE LORD!  There is NO condemnation in Jesus Christ!

But keep reading!  Do you see what He said to her immediately after that?  He went on to say, “Go, and sin no more.”  In other words, “you are forgiven–now don’t do it again!”

AnyWHO…that was a bit of a tangent.  I wanted to share all that before I go into the topic of modesty.  Because as soon as someone learns what the Lord has to say on a matter, if they continue to sin in that way, “there no longer remains a sacrifice for sin” (Hebrews 10:26 NIV).  His sacrifice is worth it all!  We must die to self, take up our cross, and follow Him.  And this sacrifice has set us free!  But not free to live as we please–free to live as He pleases! I want my reason “why” I do everything to be found in His Word.

OK…back to the subject at hand.  As I studied prior to our gathering, I found these verses to get me started:

1 Timothy 2:9-10: “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.” (KJV)

Deuteronomy 22:5: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.”

***Now…before you assume where I’m going with this…please understand I do not come from a church background that is denominational, and I don’t know what other religions teach.  I have only studied and found what is written in the Holy Bible, and sought out more info on those scriptures.***

First, let’s look at the Old Testament passage from Deuteronomy.  Yes–this is Old Testament.  But let’s just look at it from the perspective of God’s chosen people. This is God telling them that He would be disgusted by a man dressing like a woman, or a woman dressing like a man.  He created them “male and female”…and there are many differences.  I won’t go on with that in this post–but you can pick up an anatomy book or a psychology book and find all the evidence you need. But the definition of abomination is “a cause of abhorrence or disgust” (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/abomination).  So God is disgusted with this.  I truly believe He wants us to be the male and female He created each and every one of us to be–we aren’t both–we are what He made us to be.  And He has clearly defined what manhood and womanhood means…it is what He wants FOR us.

So let’s look at the verse in 1 Timothy.  In our English Bibles, the words we are given read “modest apparel”.  In my studying, I found in my references that the words have meanings in the original Greek text that mean “a loose, long, flowing garment”.  The word is katasholh or katastole, if you want to do your own researching.  It has also been defined as “a garment let down”, meaning length-wise.

Now, throughout the Bible, lack of modesty is most often connected with an intent to commit sexual sin.  (“Uncovered his nakedness”, etc.) Here is a “back to the beginning” example: When Adam and Eve were found to have sinned—they covered themselves—basically covered their “private areas”—I imagine like a swimsuit.  But God came and saw and said that’s not enough covering and He made coverings for them out of animal skins—so that they’d be FULLY covered.

I’ve been told that this story is only there so that we see the fig leaf as the example–because fig leaves are supposed to represent self-righteousness, as in, Adam and Eve could cover their own sins.  But we know that that is not true–only the blood of Jesus can cover our sins!  So why, then, did the Lord cover them further?  I believe it is because they were not going to be in the Garden of Eden anymore, because He kicked them out into the world!  They were going to need covering there!  In Eden, it was a man and his wife, between whom nakedness is not forbidden.

Also, according to Scriptures, “nakedness” referred to in Isaiah 47:2-3 = showing the THIGH!  How much more do we see in this world?? YOW!

OK–I read a book several months ago that was called “Christian Modesty:  The Public Undressing of America“.  It was enlightening to say the least!  I wouldn’t have believed what I was reading…except I’d read some things like it before as I studied before these ladies and I met.

One story that comes to mind is the story of the time surrounding World War 2 (WWII).  I’ll shorten the story, since I’ve already written so much!  When Pearl Harbor was bombed, the men left to go fight the war, leaving the women (their wives and sisters and daughters) behind to fill in their jobs.  They did this out of necessity.  When the survivors returned, the men expected things to go back to the way they had been–where they worked to provide for their homes, and the women were homemakers.  But some of the women had joined a movement known to us now as feminism, and began to fight for their “rights”.  What rights did they want?  They wanted the right to work jobs.  They wanted the right to be the head of their own households.  They wanted the right to wear pants.

Before this movement, it was generally known/accepted, that pants were a man’s garment and that skirts/dresses were a woman’s garment.  We can look back over centuries and see that this is true.  But at this point in time, women began to wear pants too.  So, the “freedom” to wear pants in this world comes from a feminist movement.  The same movement that tells women to not submit to their husband.  The same movement that turned the hearts of these women toward serving themselves and their own fleshly desires more than serving their husbands–or even serving the Lord by fulfilling the calling He had given them as homemakers (Titus 2:4-5).

So, ladies…if you wear pants today…that’s why!  If you’d been living just 70 years ago, you’d be wearing only dresses, because that was the standard that our culture held, and it was based on God’s Word back then–not based on legal freedoms that one can attain in our nation today.  (And, rest assured, the freedom that this world gives us is NOT the same as “freedom in Christ”!)

OK…so let me give you some more interesting little tidbits that I found, then I’ll wrap up with my general conclusion.

Some things to think about:

*Pants are a symbol of authority:  The saying “I’m the one who wears the pants in this family”…refers to the one with headship, authority…and that role has been given by the Lord to men and husbands.

*International symbols for bathrooms:  You see a figure in pants for the Men’s Room and a figure in a dress for the Ladies’s Room.

*The focus point in different garments—pants vs. skirts/dresses.  In pants, the “arrow” points to the bum or to the crotch area, for a man AND woman.  Eyes are naturally drawn to where this arrow points.  I was SHOCKED to find this is so true!

And a story:  There was a fashion show years ago on the Phil Donahue show where a designer created dresses for men and had them parade on the stage in them.  Here are the comments that came out of it:  “that’s disgusting”, “that’s vulgar”, “gross”, etc.  Phil Donahue’s response was, “That’s funny…because about 50 years ago, people said the same thing about women wearing pants.”

So, for almost 6,000 years, women have worn only dresses…and around 65 years ago is when women started wearing pants?  Just a tidbit.  And yes…I’m aware that for many years, both men AND women wore some sort of “robe”.  But we must assume one of two things, using the verse I mentioned above from Deuteronomy–either (1) their robes were different somehow back then, to give distinction between a man’s and a woman’s attire…OR (2) that one day, the attire would be different for men and women, so the Lord addressed it back then.  Either way, He wants us dressing differently.

This is our heavenly Father telling us what He wants FOR us, not what He wants FROM us.  The Old Testament gives us so many things to help us understand the heart of our Father!  And regarding attire, I sorta view this passage as if it was Papa Bear (my hubby) talking to Sister Bear (our sweet daughter), as she came downstairs before going somewhere with friends.  If she was wearing something that made her look like a man or that he considered inappropriate for her, he would surely take her in his arms and say, “My sweet daughter, it is a cruel, evil, hard world out there.  I can’t let you parade yourself out there like this.  It isn’t good for you to be looked upon the way you will be in that outfit–nor is it good for those looking to look at you.  I must insist that you cover yourself more fully to keep yourself pure, and to help your brothers remain pure, too.”  (Because ANY man who isn’t my husband, is my brother in Christ.  And as his sister, he shouldn’t look on me that way.)

I truly believe that is what our Father in heaven would say if He looked at many of us today.  Beach season is upon us–and I wrote this post to share my heart to young women of today.  But it isn’t just at the beach.  It is everywhere we go–and especially when we come together to worship.

So my personal conclusion here… I can’t throw out all my clothes because I can’t afford to do so.  But I do aim to wear more skirts and dresses–not because of “law” that I have to–but because God wants me to be modest in my attire, and I have found that skirts and dresses (long ones, of course) are the MOST modest I can wear.  I’m not talking burkas here…just loose, long, flowing garments (that at the least, cover the thigh).

And ladies, you should know this before you throw stones my way…since I’m married, I know that I have the freedom to wear anything I want to (or nothing at all) around my own husband…but I consider my responsibility to you and YOUR husband a grand responsibility.  You are my sister and he is my brother, and I don’t want to have any part in coming between you two as husband and wife.  I have seen with my own eyes the husband of a friend look on another woman who was dressed without a standard of modesty–WHILE IN CHURCH.  I know plenty of people who have dealt with the topic of pornography in their homes.  I have seen the hurt that comes from the heart condition of a man looking lustfully on another woman who isn’t his own wife.  I am just doing what I can to NOT be that “other woman”.

So please, before you think I dress in a skirt to appear “holier-than-thou”, please remember I do it for YOU just as much as I do it for the Lord.  I also aim to set an example to my daughter (who happens to refuse to wear anything but a “pretty dress”), and also to my sons–for what to look for in a woman adorning herself appropriately.  Will you see me in pants sometimes?  Yep, but they won’t be form-fitting in ANY way.  Will you see me in shorts sometimes–only if you show up unannounced at my house this summer!  (I will likely wear capri pants sometimes.)  Will you see me in a swimsuit?  Not a chance (except maybe with a long coverup).  The bottom line for me is that I believe the Lord wants me to wear what is decidedly female and surely modest.  If it isn’t both of those things, I’ll have to replace that item in my closet.

I guess I should also say that if I see YOU in pants, please know that it never crosses my mind to judge you for that.

And finally–let not your attire draw the attention of any man in your church!  Watch out for skirts that come up too high when you sit down, waistlines that show “crack” when you lean over to pick up your Bible, tight pants that leave nothing to the imagination, low cut tops that show cleavage, skin tight tops that show your form, and even baggy armpits on tops that allow a “peek” of what’s underneath.  Those are for your husband–not mine.  And if you aren’t yet married–remember that all these guys are your brother!

One more thought that guides my heart in every matter… I once heard my pastor talking about what he used to tell teens in his former youth group when they would ask, “Pastor, how far is TOO far?”  He would go on to say that we don’t need to live life trying not to cross the line…we should RUN from the line!  Instead of seeing what we can “get away with” according to Scriptures, why not see just how closely we can get to the Lord by obeying Him to our fullest ability?

I welcome your comments.  I do ask that you keep them respectful.  I love you all as my sisters.  Thank you for reading!

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Posted May 9, 2012 by whohearsahorton in Uncategorized

20 responses to “Why I’m changing my wardrobe…

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  1. Modesty is a journey and I can honestly say that what you wrote about Sally , you could have written about me as well. When we accept Chirst, we become “NEW” we put off the old and that includes the way we think about our clothing and how our clothes witness to others. I read an article a few years back on how pants define the outline of women and that sparked my heart change. I din’t want to cause other men to stumble and more importantly, I didn’t want to expose what belong to my husband to the world.T hank you for sharing this!

    • Thank you for your comment, Stephanie! Our spiritual walk is a journey in itself–with heaven as our goal–and intimacy with the Lord as the way to attain it! I’m still on my journey–and will be until the day He calls me home to be with Him. I bet your husband feels respected and appreciates what you’ve done to keep “secret” what is his, and not for the world, to enjoy! Keep seeking and you will find even more truth on your journey! I’m proud of you!

  2. Thank you for this post. It is clear, concise, and biblical. You’ve beautifully articulated and shared what I’ve been wanting to say for some time. I’ve already shared this on facebook and will definitely be passing it on to the girls in my Sunday School class.

  3. Well written article, Melissa! You make many valid and well argued points and I totally share your viewpoint on several issues and, of course, on the scriptures referenced. However, I do believe that the term “modest apparel” is open to interpretation by the Christian based on sound doctrine, prayer, and research. Of course, a non-Christian wouldn’t really care what God said or Jesus exemplified. We realize that culture does indeed dictate clothing styles today just as in the day of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. In many cultures today, the clothing is quite different from the U.S.A. and can be found from many extremes of modesty to immodesty. So it comes down to how we each, as “heavenly citizens” determine not to say, do, or dress in a way that causes someone else to stumble (temptation to sin), draws unnecessary attention to ourself (pride), and/or displeases our Lord Whom we’ve pledged ourselves to. We were studying Romans 6 last night in our home group and the ladies are studying Philippians 4. When we read both of those sections, it makes clear that we are to transform our thinking and way of living to line up with our identifying ourselves with Christ.

    I said all that to say that we have liberty through Jesus’ sacrifice to not going around worrying about keeping all the Mosaic laws that the Jews had to keep; but our liberty is not to be a stumbling block to others, nor as an excuse to sin so that grace may abound. Some “sins” are clearly defined and some are not. Even Paul said that if it is sin in your heart and mind, then do not do it! We must guard our hearts, but we also must never become like the Pharisees and scribes of Jesus’ day who were more concerned with the letter of the law than they were with mercy and grace.

    I will give you an example of the extremes that some may take this issue because it has personal connotations for me: Years ago I was involved with a church that dictated no pants, no cutting hair, no makeup, no sleeveless shirts (men or women), no dresses above the knees, no necklines lower than the collar bone, etc. The do’s and don’t’s went on and on. When I began reading the Bible, no I really began devouring the Word as I was so hungry for God and for truth, I began to question the leaders about some of their beliefs. I was accused of having a rebellious spirit. Later when I left that church, I was told I was going to hell for not being obedient to God’s commands as they saw it. So you can see that I have mixed feelings about this issue because of personal experience.

    My own study and, especially, my love for the Lord and being all He desires me to be leads me to live as Galatians 2:20 puts it “I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me…” So my life is a testimony of Who He is, not who I am. I live thankful for what He has delivered me from and out of. Having said that, I will wholeheartedly state my support of your stance on modesty, but caution against falling into that other category. I don’t always wear dresses, but I always seek to wear looser pants or long blouses that cover my “bum” :-). Of course, at my age, the more covered the better! 😉 It disturbs me greatly to see women dress like that desire to show off their bodies and get as much attention to them as possible. It saddens me because i realize they are selling themselves short and propagating the idea of women as sexual objects to oggle over. What it really says about them is “look at me, love me, want me, give me what I’m missing in my life.”

    So I preach and teach modesty – not necessarily no pants, but definitely modesty as determined by what is showing or not showing and what will or will not incite the wrong attention from the opposite sex. I also preach and teach unconditional love and showing Jesus’ example of acceptance to all – but, I pray for the Holy Spirit to guide them into all truth and understanding as they open themselves to His love and His Word which fills up what they are missing inside and what they seek to fill by other’s attentions. If they are in my realm of influence, I show love and I don’t condemn, but I do lead them to a deeper relationship with Christ and His Word which usually leads to the modesty issue sooner or later.

    Keep on keeping on, Titus woman!

  4. I agree whole heartily with your article but am curious to see what your views are on make up ( is it to draw attention to your self or to make you feel better about your looks?) and the hair cut short(looking manly?)

    • Hi Ruth! Thank you for your comments–and for reading! Personally, I definitely love seeing long hair on a woman, and short hair on a man. Regarding both of your questions, about hair and about makeup, I’m going to do some studying and will post again on what I find very soon! 🙂

  5. Very well written. I love your spirit in speaking what you believe is Truth. Blessings to you!

  6. Love your post! I whole heartily agree w/ needing more modesty! Bless you for sharing!

  7. Melissa,
    I don’t know you, but I stumbled across your blog, I hope you don’t mind my commentary out of the blue. I grew up in association with churches and homeschool groups exactly like you’re describing. To be honest I know this sounds like an awesome thing, and the concept – not dressing inappropriately or specifically to draw male attention, is good. Let me paint a picture for you though, of the thought process that ends up permeating communities that place a focus on “modesty”. I know this because I grew up in them. Thankfully my mom didn’t condone or enforce these philosophies, but I had to deal with fallout. I had to deal with feeling inferior, not understanding God’s wild, amazing, deep love for me as His creation. Anyways on to some of the most detrimental lies that seep in when you start measuring your Christian walk by your skirt length:

    – The men and boys around you learn that you are responsible for their thoughts. They are helpless. If they have impure thoughts or impulses it’s your fault because your shirt was too snug, or your skirt too short, or your top too low.

    – The men and boys notice what you wear MORE because you are making a big deal out of it, and they start evaluating what they think is “modest” drawing even more attention your form.
    – You end up purposely hiding God given glory. Girls grow up thinking that they shouldn’t be too pretty at a time when they need all the self esteem they can get. Instead of growing up knowing that God created them to be stunning, amazing creatures, they feel shame and the need to cover themselves more if they look in the mirror and the girl who looks back is appealing.
    – You start believing the more you cover the holier you become.
    – Your view of God is tainted by the feeling that your sexuality is sinful and you have to hide it.

    When you start reading the Bible with a preconceived idea of what it says you can really make it say whatever you want. Please don’t start reading the Bible with “modesty” glasses. Clothing is part of your personality. There are definitely people called to dress more conservatively, by God, who these things do not apply to. If you feel God leading you to change something, that’s one thing. But let me tell you the MAJORITY of people I know who grew up with these specific guidelines and rules have had major issues. Be careful of ever feeling holy because you’re living life by what you feel to be God’s check list. I think you would be interested in the blog of a homeschool mom I know. She has some great thoughts. http://www.darcysheartstirrings.blogspot.com/ Also please read these posts that touch on some of the deeper issues that come from focusing on outward christianity vs. inward. http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2011/07/emotionalpurity/ http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2012/02/on-being-a-shoe-salesman/

  8. Melissa,
    I don’t know you, but I stumbled across your blog, I hope you don’t mind my commentary out of the blue. I grew up in association with churches and homeschool groups exactly like you’re describing. To be honest I know this sounds like an awesome thing, and the concept – not dressing inappropriately or specifically to draw male attention, is good. Let me paint a picture for you though, of the thought process that ends up permeating communities that place a focus on “modesty”. I know this because I grew up in them. Thankfully my mom didn’t condone or enforce these philosophies, but I had to deal with fallout. I had to deal with feeling inferior, not understanding God’s wild, amazing, deep love for me as His creation. Anyways on to some of the most detrimental lies that seep in when you start measuring your Christian walk by your skirt length:

    – The men and boys around you learn that you are responsible for their thoughts. They are helpless. If they have impure thoughts or impulses it’s your fault because your shirt was too snug, or your skirt too short, or your top too low.
    – The men and boys notice what you wear MORE because you are making a big deal out of it, and they start evaluating what they think is “modest” drawing even more attention your form.
    – You end up purposely hiding God given glory. Girls grow up thinking that they shouldn’t be too pretty at a time when they need all the self esteem they can get. Instead of growing up knowing that God created them to be stunning, amazing creatures, they feel shame and the need to cover themselves more if they look in the mirror and the girl who looks back is appealing.
    – You start believing the more you cover the holier you become.
    – Your view of God is tainted by the feeling that your sexuality is sinful and you have to hide it.

    When you start reading the Bible with a preconceived idea of what it says you can really make it say whatever you want. Please don’t start reading the Bible with “modesty” glasses. Clothing is part of your personality. There are definitely people called to dress more conservatively, by God, who these things do not apply to. If you feel God leading you to change something, that’s one thing. But let me tell you the MAJORITY of people I know who grew up with these specific guidelines and rules have had major issues. Be careful of ever feeling holy because you’re living life by what you feel to be God’s check list. I think you would be interested in the blog of a homeschool mom I know. She has some great thoughts. http://www.darcysheartstirrings.blogspot.com/ Also, please take a look at some corresponding issues written by others who were raised by outward christian standards. I’m linking to a couple posts I think that are most relevant, but the whole recovering grace site may be a good resource for you. http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2012/02/on-being-a-shoe-salesman/ http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2011/07/emotionalpurity/

    • Hi starbucksbuzz! Thank you for reading and for sharing your comments. I’ll be sure to check out those links. I do want to reply to your comment now, though, so I don’t forget to! 🙂

      First, I understand the groups you are talking about. I know them well–and have never been part of them. The statement “rules without relationship leads to rebellion” is more than true when discussing topics like modesty–or really any kind of obedience to the Lord. Groups who preach modesty as a forefront topic have it backwards. If they preach to women who do not yet know God and His saving grace, they are merely setting up laws, same as the Pharisees did. Remember when Jesus turned the tables? He didn’t do it because they obeyed too much law–He did it because they didn’t have the foundation of relationship. The Word tells me that “if [I] love Him, [I will] keep His commandments” (John 14:15). It is BECAUSE I love the Lord that I want to obey His commandments–including dressing modestly.

      I can tell you now that, as I look back, when the Gospel was presented to me the first time, I was 18 years old, and I heard it as a checklist for salvation. I made the decision to be baptized that very night! But I recall the emotion I felt in making that decision–I was ANGRY that no one had told me I had to be baptized! I literally saw it as a box I needed to check to be saved! How sad is that? Since then–and it’s been 15 years since then–I’ve come to know Him–God, my Creator, my Savior! I’ve come to know of His love for me–and the Word also tells me that it is because He loved me first that I’m able to love Him back! And again…because I love Him, I can keep His commandments (obey Him).

      Regarding your bullet points–I’d like to address them individually:
      –If men and boys believe I am responsible for their thoughts, then someone isn’t telling THEM the Truth. They must also be taught personal responsibility, and that they alone will answer for their choices (including lusting over a woman–no matter what she is wearing).
      –I can’t imagine the men and boys noticing me more–because I’m not wearing something that looks out of the ordinary. I can go to the mall today and find hundreds of girls/women wearing summer dresses or skirts that come to their knees or longer. I’m not wearing frumpy denim skirts that come to my ankles (not all the time anyway–I do happen to love certain denim skirts), and I’m not wearing plaid jumpers everyday with a crisp white collared shirt or turtleneck underneath. I’m wearing feminine apparel that covers me enough–according to Biblical standards God has given us.
      –I do not consider dressing modestly “hiding God given glory”. In one way, yes–I’m hiding it–from those it is not meant for (any other man besides my husband). But the Word only says that my hair is my glory, not that my body is my glory. God paints a picture of His created female as a beautiful thing! We should teach our daughters they are beautiful in the eyes of the Lord! But that doesn’t mean we allow them to show themselves to the world. Besides, God doesn’t tell us we have to have a good self image. He tells us in His word who He created us to be–and the rest of what I read tells me to “die to self” and to lay down my fleshly desires for Him. He says following Him will require sacrifice–and that we are in the world but not OF it. We are to be stunning, amazing creatures–and we are to feel no shame or cover our appealing selves–IF we are with our husbands–but if we are not with him alone, it is not something to be displayed. I have heard it said this way, “Don’t act like you are selling something if you aren’t selling!” We can put ourselves on display as property to be had–and that is what we get–or we can keep ourselves modestly covered and then be presented blameless as a bride to our husband.
      –In no way do I believe that wearing skirts makes me more holy. Except that holy, by definition, means “devoted to the service of God”…so if that is what you mean, then yes, I am acting upon my devotion to the service of God–being holy–by dressing modestly. But in using that definition–also providing food or water for someone in need makes me holy, taking in an orphan makes me holy, and being baptized the way my Savior was baptized makes me holy. My attitude is not that I am “holier-than-thou”…or holier than anyone else…but as I said before, it is because of my love for Him that I obey–and no other reason.
      –In all reality, sexuality is only NOT sinful when it is between a husband and his own wife. If God says that a man who looks upon me lustfully (with sexual thoughts) commits adultery with me in his heart, then wouldn’t me dressing in a way to incite that response be me committing adultery in my own heart? As my friend “Sally” said–“I loved getting male attention, and I secretly loved it that other women were jealous of me. I just shake my head when I think back to how vain I was and how much I liked the fact that I caused other men to lust.” If I’m trying to get the attention of another man besides my husband, it is wrong. And if I succeed in getting him to lust–well, then I’ve purposefully been a stumbling block to him–which is something the Lord also says not to be/do.

      I agree with your final thought–“When you start reading the Bible with a preconceived idea of what it says you can really make it say whatever you want.” I pray that you do not read the Bible with the idea that the sexual revolution has presented to us all–that we are sexual beings first and foremost. It is not true! We are spiritual beings, housed in a bodily temple–the temple of the Holy Spirit! The same Creator who created us also designed sex for a purpose (procreation) and sexuality for a purpose (to prevent sexual immorality/fornication)–and He set these limits for our own benefits while we are here on earth.

      I encourage you to look at obedience and being holy for what it really is–love for and devotion to our heavenly Father. It really should be nothing more and nothing less. It is the LEAST we can do in light of the sacrifice He made for us! 🙂

      • I am glad you see the path that this decision could take you down. I think that was my main purpose for posting. I don’t think it’s a bad thing for you ( or anyone) to decide they only want to wear skirts. I am just very wary of the ideology behind it as I have seen it be bondage for hundreds of people. (I am not exaggerating here on the number) Also, to be honest I doubt I would have even bothered posting if you were single. I know how pervasive and damaging these ideas can be when kids are raised in a home with them, and I would hope you’d consider that very carefully. You’re right that people who preach modesty as a forefront topic have everything backwards. I feel that a post that you have obviously put this much time, effort, and study into though is fast becoming just that – a forefront topic – in your life.

        By assuming that everyone else at the mall not dressed by your standards is being immodest is extremely judgmental and legalistic. Also assuming that someone not dressed to your standards is out to get noticed by men is judgemental. It may be what you struggled with, or what “Sally” struggled with but that isn’t what everyone there is necessarily struggling with or acting on.

        I do not think that we are sexual being first, but our sexuality / sensuality is still created by God. If you really believe that your beauty as a woman, your sensuality / sexuality should be only for your husband, then why are you concerned with how others perceive you? Why not wear burqas or dress frumpy if being unattractive and saving all your beauty for him is the main goal here? You point out multiple times in both your original post and responses that this isn’t about dressing unattractively, or un “hip”, but why does that matter to you? How is that a different motive than the one that had you wearing tight jeans and low cut tops?

        As far as “holiness” goes – I believe my statement still stands. Let me restate it with your definition in it’s place: “You start believing the more you cover the more love and devotion for our heavenly father you show”. Does that ring true for you? If it does, please re-think some things. Let’s take an example of a “man after God’s own heart” here. David not only committed adultery, and murder but he also DANCED NAKED in praise and worship. I’m not condoning any of these activities, just pointing out that the person who God champions as having his heart in the Bible was an occasional nudist. I really don’t think God is very concerned with our skirt lengths, he’s concerned with our hearts. If you’re wearing skirts is the way you praise and worship him, more power to you. Just be very careful as to *why* you see that as obedience to Him.

        I have great self image for a couple reasons. First because I am created by God. If you think self image is unimportant that is the same as saying that it’s fine to de-value God’s creation. It’s not important on the same level as not recycling right? Not so much. Not valuing yourself leads to not only thinking poorly of yourself but poorly of others as well. Jesus commands us to “love your neighbor as yourself”. I don’t think he threw “as yourself” on there just because he was in a good mood that day. We are supposed to value ourselves and take care of ourselves in the same way we value and care for others. This i actually part of “the greatest commandment”. I think if modesty were supposed to be as big a deal as how you care for others and yourself it would have definitely been voiced by Jesus. The greatest command would have gone something “like love others and make sure the women’s skirts don’t show any thigh.” My relationship with god was severely stunted when I was trying to follow the “modesty” concept.

        Hope that gives you a new perspective and some food for thought. 🙂

      • No, my perspective isn’t changed at all, actually. I get where you are coming from–really. There are probably THOUSANDS being taught modesty without first being taught of Him. It is my belief that if someone knows Him and loves him, modesty simply follows in response to that love. It is the same with my three children–it is out of their love for me that they desire to obey. It isn’t because I tell them to obey or make them obey. And yes, if someone just reads my blog post, but doesn’t know Him–they may choose to obey because the Bible says to dress modestly, without ever forming a relationship with Him. That’s a risk I guess I take in sharing the Truth on the world wide web (as I pray that those reading already know Him). It is still seed sown!

        You see, when my friend, “Sally”, shared that with me–I wasn’t quite ready to grasp it either. I needed to hear what she said, then seek out the Holy scriptures myself. Not to mention, as my relationship with the Lord has grown, so has my desire to obey Him more fully.

        I’m not sure what you are assuming I’m teaching my children. To love, honor, revere, worship, trust, and obey God? Yes–that is what we teach them. Their eternal life depends on it!

        I want to make sure I’m understanding correctly what it is that you are trying to say. What I’m “hearing” you say is, “it’s okay to wear only skirts, but don’t say it is because the Bible says to”…or “it’s okay to wear only skirts, but don’t say they have to be modest”. Is that what you mean? That sounds like you are arguing with the Word of God on this subject. As with every “law” He gave, it was for our benefit–not just so we’d “do what He says to do”. He is dealing with our own heart condition if we are TRYING to attract or tempt other men to lust over us…and He is dealing with the heart of men when He tells them not to look upon us with that lust. He dealt with the issue of fornication by giving us a command to have only one husband or wife. But He tells men to keep their HEARTS pure by not looking lustfully at another woman. I know many men who love the Lord and would turn their eyes away from a woman dressed in certain manners–so as not to sin by looking at her that way–but not JUST because God says “don’t look”, but because they love Him and want to obey Him.

        You argue that telling someone what God says is bad because they can be put in bondage? God is the One who has set us FREE! We are no longer bound by SIN, or the “wages of sin” (eternal death). Truth is not the enemy–it is not what binds us. The enemy has used his original tool for skewing your thought process there. As he said to Eve, “Did the Lord REALLY say…?” So you now ask, “Did the Lord really say I have to hide my beauty?” NO! The Lord didn’t say that! But He DID give a limitation–that it is to be shared with your OWN husband. Let’s not forget He created all of us and this world and knows what is best for us!

        Regarding your argument about not dressing “hip” if that doesn’t matter to me… It really sounds like you are just arguing your point that I should be able to present myself as an attractive, appealing, sexy woman–to anyone I want to. The problem isn’t whether I believe I should or shouldn’t be “hip”…the issue is how does it line up with how God wants me to present myself. AGAIN–and I feel I’ll repeat this over and over–if I didn’t know and love Him, all this would be just laws…and as I shared, “rules without relationship lead to rebellion”. So if I have no relationship with the Lord, but read His word as only law, then I’ll naturally rebel against that law. It is STILL law, but He wants me to obey because I love Him. And I’m ABLE to obey because I’ve been set free from the bondage of a sinful nature. Remember, though, that freedom isn’t for us to pursue our own fleshly, earthly desires–it is so we can obey what He desires!

        Also, in no way did I assume that everyone else at the mall is not dressed by my standards–in fact, I actually wrote in my original post that I don’t judge anyone else for what they are wearing. It is between him/her and God. In referencing those at the mall, I was simply showing that I’m dressing like many others dress already (even those not trying to seek modesty). Modesty doesn’t JUST mean to be covered, it also means not to draw unnecessary attention to your outward appearance. I heard another pastor other than my own, in a talk where he briefly mentioned modesty in reference to what to wear in church, say to remember the One you are competing with! In church, I could distract from someone else’s worship. Out in the world, I could cause someone to sin. And loving my neighbor as myself is what I’m doing by NOT trying to tempt him.

        As far as your restatement about holiness: actually I believe it to be the other way around. Because of my love and devotion to Him, the more I cover myself–as an act of obedience to Him. I do not believe I become more holy by my own actions. However, God’s Word clearly states that He desires to present us “holy and blameless”…He WANTS me to be holy! (Colossians 1:22, Ephesians 5:27, Ephesians 1:4) But I guess I should also add that we can be holy ONLY because of His sacrifice on the cross! It is not by my works at all–not even by dressing modestly.

        About King David… I understand he danced naked. But as I studied that further, I found that he was not naked in public–only his wife was a witness to him worshiping an audience of ONE (God). AND…further articles suggest that “naked” meant that his “royal attire” fell off as he danced–but remember, priests were required to wear undergarments that covered them UNDERNEATH their robes. So, even if his robe fell off–he likely had some undergarment still covering him. Taken out of context, without understanding the culture surrounding it, can lead one astray in what God really wants us to understand.

        I guess some would say the same about the topic of modesty. You see, the passage in 1 Timothy was referencing the women who stood outside the temples in order to seduce the men as they entered worship. They dressed provocatively and ornately, using jewelry and fancy hairstyles, and maybe even makeup, to tempt them. I would bet that what they wore, though, was far more modest (even for prostitutes back then) than we see in our culture today! So the idea was that when they come together to worship, that women not dress in a way to draw attention to themselves. (Again, remembering that the Lord is the one we are competing with for that attention.) But we are not to be a stumbling block–and parading around in this world showing off our bodies can be just that. I’m not saying it is all the time–which is why I said in my original post that I will sometimes wear pants (that do not show off my form), but that I will mostly try to wear skirts and dresses–to be more modest and also to be more feminine (because I believe the Lord DOES have gender separation all throughout His word).

        I am truly sorry that your “relationship with god was severely stunted when [you were] trying to follow the “modesty” concept”. That was a group of Pharisees telling you simply to obey, but not telling you why we obey. Don’t let that lead to a bitterness or contemptuous attitude toward God or His word. He still desires obedience, we just know He desires relationship much MUCH more!

  9. I’m going to try to respond to specific quotes of yours so as to not confuse things further: 😛

    “No, my perspective isn’t changed at all, actually. I get where you’re coming from–really. There are probably THOUSANDS being taught modesty without first being taught of Him. It is my belief that if someone knows Him and loves him, modesty simply follows in response to that love.”

    I’m sorry that you’re not able to see anyone’s perspective but your own. I wasn’t expecting to change your mind on anything, just hoping you were open to realizing you don’t hold the only viable opinion on this subject. You’re right partially – modesty in its true meaning – not drawing untoward attention to yourself – does follow in a response to Christ’s love. Creating extenuating rules to live by does not.

    “And yes, if someone just reads my blog post, but doesn’t know Him–they may choose to obey because the Bible says to dress modestly, without ever forming a relationship with Him. That’s a risk I guess I take in sharing the Truth on the world wide web (as I pray that those reading already know Him). It is still seed sown!”

    I’m sorry but I really don’t see most of what you’ve put here as “truth”. I see it as your specific interpretation of a few verses taken in questionable context. I think this is one of the things I take issue with. It’s simply what you are being led to. Which is great, but I feel that you’re broadcasting this as the way the truth and the life for everyone. It’s not. If you presented this as simply what God is leading you into–not a standard for all Christian women who want to follow God and the Bible I would have no issue with it.

    “You see, when my friend, “Sally”, shared that with me–I wasn’t quite ready to grasp it either. I needed to hear what she said, then seek out the Holy scriptures myself. Not to mention, as my relationship with the Lord has grown, so has my desire to obey Him more fully.”

    I’m getting the feeling that you think I’m at the same place you were when you first met “sally”. I’m not. I had to gain freedom of the unnecessary restrictions of other peoples biblical interpretations to get to know God in the first place. There are areas that He is now leading me back into that I was never able to understand or appreciate before, but a dress code is not among them. I’ve prayed over this (and MANY other issues.) I’m not circumventing the Bible or God’s will. I am completely open and surrendered to His leading and working in my life, but I am very wary as others opinions and interpretations masquerading as His will for my life.

    “What I’m “hearing” you say is, “it’s okay to wear only skirts, but don’t say it is because the Bible says to”…or “it’s okay to wear only skirts, but don’t say they have to be modest”. Is that what you mean?”

    You understand me partially. I really don’t believe that modesty is taught in the Bible, not in the concrete ways some people interpret it to be. However I do believe that God calls specific people to specific things and ways of living. He may be calling you to wear skirts all the time. If so, that’s wonderful, but not something you should expect Him to lead all others into.

    “That sounds like you are arguing with the Word of God on this subject.”

    What it sounds like is you have a very narrow interpretation of the scriptures and have no interest in another point of view. I am not arguing with the Bible, I am arguing with your specific interpretation of it. Let me give you my interpretation of 1st Timothy 2:9 and so on just for the hey of it. For reference “ Also [I desire] that women should adorn themselves modestly and appropriately and sensibly in seemly apparel, not with [elaborate] hair arrangement or gold or pearls or expensive clothing,10 But by doing good deeds (deeds in themselves good and for the good and advantage of those contacted by them), as befits women who profess reverential fear for and devotion to God.” (Amplified version) I interpret the point to be our focus. We’re not supposed to get caught up in how we dress, how we look, how other perceive us. We are supposed to focus on what we can do, who we can help, and how we can further Christ’s kingdom. I’m not sure why some people need the Gospel and the Bible to be more than it is. Isn’t it enough to focus on loving God, your neighbor, and yourself?

    “You argue that telling someone what God says is bad because they can be put in bondage? God is the One who has set us FREE! We are no longer bound by SIN, or the “wages of sin” (eternal death). Truth is not the enemy–it is not what binds us. The enemy has used his original tool for skewing your thought process there. As he said to Eve, “Did the Lord REALLY say…?” So you now ask, “Did the Lord really say I have to hide my beauty?” NO! The Lord didn’t say that! But He DID give a limitation–that it is to be shared with your OWN husband. Let’s not forget He created all of us and this world and knows what is best for us!”

    I am not arguing that telling someone what God says puts them in bondage, I argue that promoting your interpretation of the Bible as the only interpretation can lead people into bondage, and very quickly. Unless I skipped over the paragraph where you allowed for others to interpret the scriptures differently than you do? This excerpt from a Casting Crowns song resonates deeply with me:
    “People aren’t confused by the gospel, They’re confused by us.
    Jesus is the only way to God, but we are not the only way to Jesus.
    This world doesn’t need my tie, my hoodie, my denomination, or my translation of the bible.
    They just need Jesus. We can be passionate about what we believe, but we can’t strap ourselves to the gospel ’cause we’re slowing it down. Jesus is going to save the world
    but maybe the best thing we can do is just get out of the way”.

    “I am truly sorry that your “relationship with god was severely stunted when [you were] trying to follow the “modesty” concept”. That was a group of Pharisees telling you simply to obey, but not telling you why we obey. Don’t let that lead to a bitterness or contemptuous attitude toward God or His word. He still desires obedience, we just know He desires relationship much MUCH more!”

    Thank you for your concern regarding my relationship with God. I actually have great respect for the Bible and trust Him to lead me to the specific interpretation He has for me. I am constantly praying for His guidance, and that he reveal Himself to me more fully. God has shown Himself and His love for me through a myriad situations, and I am in awe of Him and His interventions in my life. I’m very heavily involved with my church family and they are a huge inspiration to me, and examples of being God’s hands and feet in our communities and abroad.

    In my life, “modesty” just comes down to what’s appropriate for a given situation. I don’t wear my pajamas to work, or my work clothes to the beach. It would be inappropriate for that given situation. I nannied for two years for a family that I felt handled this very well. The mom dressed very classy and appropriately for whatever situation she was in, the daughter looked up to her, they shopped together, and it was never an issue. This is how I intend to raise my future kids. The rights and wrongs attached to any piece of clothing is (and should be) completely subjective to the person wearing it and the atmosphere it will be worn in. I agree that we shouldn’t be out to attract undue attention, and to me that is the heart of what modesty is and should be.

    I know we’re hitting a whole range of issues within this topic, so let me just boil it down for us here: You seem to believe morality is attached to your clothing choices, I do not. You seem to believe that this is something all “holy” christian women should adhere to, I believe that God leads everyone in separate paths that concurrently further His kingdom. ie: Just because I don’t have morality attached to my clothing choices doesn’t mean that I’m being disobedient to God’s will for my life, it simply means He has me on a different route than He has you.

    • *sigh* While I hesitate to even respond again, I do want to clear up a few things. Every reply you’ve posted has seemed to infer something different than what I actually wrote. I don’t speak around things–what I say is exactly what I mean–not trying to get a hidden message across with funny wording. So I’m gonna start with the bullet points of what my ORIGINAL post was saying.

      1. I was thinking about WHY I wear what I wear, so I did my research on history as well as digging into scripture.

      2. What God’s Word says is FAR more important to me than any cultural shift or opinion–and I’m not writing to give my opinions, I’m simply sharing God’s Word on stuff and sharing how I have applied it in my own life.

      3. According to Deuteronomy 22:5, the Lord detests a man trying to be a woman and a woman trying to be a man. In other words, it isn’t JUST the clothes–it is our created selves altogether. Just like he created men to work (see: Adam) and women to be helpers to their husbands (see: Eve).

      4. According to 1 Timothy 2:9, there either was or still is an issue with the way women dress–at least in worship. And since “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Tim. 3:16), I don’t discount this verse as applicable today. The fact is–God wants us to be dressed modestly. I agree that all of us will have an opinion on what WE think is modest or immodest…but I am not trying to write opinion…I’m trying to dig into what our heavenly Father, our Holy God, the Lord Himself, has to say about it.

      5. The fact is that God is the first one to cover Adam and Eve more fully. He didn’t just cover Eve–he covered both of them more than their original (human derived) coverings. That certainly makes me think that, like Eve, as a sinner, I also need more of a full covering.

      6. There are plenty of references to “uncovering nakedness” and says straightforward that it is sin. The ONLY relationship that showing our “nakedness” would be okay is a husband with his wife–alone. And the reference in Isaiah that refers to nakedness as showing the thigh definitely lets me know that it is more than just covering my “private parts” (like Adam and Eve tried and the Lord didn’t accept).

      7. The fact is that, in our culture specifically, it was only acceptable that women wear skirts and dresses until the feminist movement began. And it is true that the feminist movement is seeking worldly “rights” that go against the Word of God. I just personally choose not to follow their movement. I’m a homemaker (Titus 2:4-5), I submit to my own husband (Titus 2:5, Ephesians 5:22), etc. Those things are what they are fighting–it isn’t for the right to do something, it is for the freedom from fulfilling the role for which God created them! And I don’t follow those who don’t follow God!

      8. It is a fact that pants outline the lower half of the body more than skirts do. Therefore, in order to dress as modest as I am able (without drawing undue attention to myself in such as a burka), I will choose skirts more often than pants. NOW–in my original post–I DID say that I can’t throw out my wardrobe and buy all new stuff right now, so I’m still wearing my pants now anyway. I also said that I probably will continue to. If I’m in a group of all ladies, or at home with only my husband, other men won’t have opportunity to see my form–so I don’t feel like I’d be tempting anyone (unless my hubby is tempted! And in that case–rock on!) 🙂 Also–I never once said that I believe that God has said “SKIRTS ONLY!” I was simply writing what I found in history and in scripture and then sharing my own personal application. The truth is–I may never get rid of pants altogether–but I WILL be dressing as modestly as I can when I’m around other men. And in that case, it will mean a skirt.

      9. I’m still flabbergasted at anyone who is a Christian, but then uses the Scripture to see just how “free” they can be in their lives, rather than seeing just how close they can get to our Father in obedience to Him.

      I was reading Romans 6 last night, and there is much to say about obedience and holiness and righteousness…all GOOD things that bring us closer to the One who saves! Thank you for your comments.

  10. What a thought provoking post! I can tell from this post that you want to learn to love what God loves and hate what He hates. It is such a hard journey to strive to be holy as God is holy. This is impossible to accomplish on this earth, but what a glorious day when we see our savior face to face!

    The battle of skirts over slacks can be summed up to this.

    “All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.” 1 Corinthians 10:23

    Their is no sin in wearing pants, as long as there are not any sinful ambitions, but just because we are not condemned by something, does it bring God’s best in our life? The same could be said about eating sweets or many things in life. Let’s try to search for God’s best in our lives to best please Him!

    All to His glory!

    • Thank you for reading and for your comment, Abby! I think your comment summed up my heart on these matters so beautifully! Coincidentally, many use that very passage in Scripture as their “defense” for doing something they want to do…rather than using it as you did, to say “I know I CAN do this…but is it the best thing?” THANK YOU for sharing this! And also for all that you are doing at Silk and Purple!

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